Thursday, February 24, 2011

Ubisoft and Nintendo Wii Teamed Up For This?!

 Note: It seems Ubisoft is unhappy with all the attention the game We Dare is getting, but wasn't that the whole point of this game? They wanted to get everyone's attention and they got it. Now they have blocked all the Youtube ads here and have restricted it regionally to Europe. You can see the full ad here on this IGN article here:
So apparently in order to appear more "Grown Up" and "Adult Friendly" Ubisoft and Nintendo have come up with this new and improved way to completely traumatize and embarrass your children. Well let's face it, it's a new way to embarrass yourselves and other adults too.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a good time with your friends, but did you see where the Wii controller goes during this little video? I don't see how shoving a controller down near your backside is a good idea considering the whole concept of germs and fellas, would you really want your Wii controller back after one of your buddies has shoved it down his pants? Or would you be totally happy with them putting the controller in their mouth which is also filled with lots of nasty germs?  Yeah, I didn't think so.
 Look Nintendo, I get it. You want to branch out, be an adult, and run with the big dogs, but there is so much wrong with the concept of this game. You can have an adult game that is fun and casual without resorting to sexual innuendo and open invitation to lines like, "Hey, we should play with my Wii! Literally." Never mind that the people in this video don't seem all that comfortable with this idea and the laughter sounds forced and awkward, and just think for one minute how many couples there are out there with a Nintendo Wii and then think about how many of them are married with children. Now think about the female significant others and really think about how many of them are going to go for this game. There it is, the realization that there are probably many women who would clock the crap out of their boyfriend/husband for even suggesting getting together for a healthy round of We Dare so you can shove a Wii controller down your pants and spank each other's bottoms. Hey in some circles, that's how people roll, but in others not so much.
 Ubisoft, there isn't even a need to help you. You should hang your head in shame, you know better. It's just one disappointment after another with you and whichever one of your brilliant guys thought this up, you really need to have a long talk with them. Granted the game is a measly twenty bucks, but come on for twenty bucks most people could go see a movie, something that doesn't require supremely bad hygiene habits with a video game controller and without all that awkward tension.
 Now after all that is said and done, I'm sure there are people who will buy this game. For those with children who do buy it, just make sure your kids aren't in the house and I mean the gone for the weekend to visit Grandma kind of not in the house. It's for the best, because as we all know there are just some things you can't unsee. 

Monday, February 7, 2011

Your Game Sucks Or Crowdstar Is Awful

 So yes, I admit I do play some of the games on Facebook. I have some favorites, (Bejeweled Blitz is at the top because of my love of puzzle games) and then there's some I just play once in a while just to help out my friends who play as in they need building material for a quest or they want to adopt a virtual pet. I sometimes get invites from friends to play a game and I will try it out to see how I like it. Some make it and others just aren't my thing, so they go to the deleted pile. This may also be why a lot of my friends ask me if I played this or that game. I guess basically it seems as if I play through the crap games so they don't have to.
 The games that seem to click with me are puzzle, tactics, animal/pets, or cooking oriented. I guess the appeal is (at least with puzzle games) is I can play a bit for five minutes in between commercials when I'm watching a show, because honestly, it gives me something to do before my show comes back on. The other side to it, is some of the games are genuinely fun and enjoyable to play.
 Then there's Crowdstar. What can be said about Crowdstar that isn't completely filled with every swear word possible? I tried out Happy Pets, I admit. Overall, I did like the game and the idea of adopting lots of cute virtual dogs and cats, but then you could adopt pets like jackalopes (rabbit with dear antlers), horses, and dragons. So it was interesting. However, after a while I found myself becoming bored with the tediousness of having to constantly feed my fake pets and not getting anything for it. Then of course there's the whole you have to buy Facebook Credits ordeal for any of the exclusive things such as pet dinosaurs. I found myself doing the bare minimum for the Happy Pets game and considering moving it to the deleted pile.
 A few days ago a friend of mine sent me an invitation to another Crowdstar game called It Girl. I tried it out and it was fun for about five minutes. Basically, your female avatar goes on shopping sprees and you have to find the best and hottest clothes. You also have to attend parties and have (I wish I was making this up) hotness showdowns with other girls in order to win money to spend on even more overpriced virtual couture clothing. Then, there was the quest to get a boyfriend. Once you get said boyfriend, there's a rigid rule of you have to kiss him every eight hours or he'll lose interest in you and dump you. Another way of keeping your boyfriend is you can buy him gifts, but here's the catch, all of them cost Facebook Credits. You can also get exclusive couture, but that too costs Facebook Credits, and then there's the exclusive stores you can shop at, but that also costs Facebook credits. Anyone else noticing the dirty money trail of greed going on here?
 After trying this game out, my overall impression of it was it's not good. Superficial nonsense aside, the game itself did not play well. There was constant lag, the game would freeze and the only way to solve the problem was to reload the page, and then there was the uneven battle system of the hotness showdowns. You could be completely ahead of a rival in hotness, clique size (yes, I'm sad to say your friends are referred to as a clique in this crapfest of a game), and (I wish I was making this up) closet size, and still lose. It's an understatement to say there were glitches and game issues.
 Apparently other people who played this game felt the same way and on Crowdstar's It Girl page under the Reviews tab, they voiced pretty much everything I had issue with in their reviews. There were one or two positive reviews here and there, but the overall consensus was that It Girl pretty much bit the big one. The next day, the reviews tab on the It Girl page is magically gone and Crowd Star is claiming that their game has five stars out of 120,604 reviews, all positive. Really? So rather than fix all the issues that the negative reviews brought to light, Crowdstar decides to prove that they're not only greedy money grubbing dirt bags, they decide to show that they're rotten liars too. Of course, there were lots of angry comments on their page for the It Girl game about how dishonest it was of them to do this. It also speaks volumes to me that there is no contact information whatsoever on any of the Crowdstar pages for their personal business page or for their games. There's a blatant absence of a phone number or valid street address. There isn't even a customer service feedback page anywhere. So it seems for all their so called stellar reviews the intent to perform fraud is blatantly there.
 I for one have already removed any Crowdstar games that were on my game list on my Facebook page and yes, this included the pile of dung that is the It Girl game. I am also posting this review because this is MY blog and this negative review they can not remove, and can not try to hide or lie about. Sure, it's just a Facebook game, but overall games are supposed to be fun and if you really gave a damn about making a good game Crowdstar, then you wouldn't take to these shady practices, now would you?
 I'm sure that they will continue down their greed laden path and keep ripping off everyone left and right in order to be the biggest and the best, but the people who are in the same frame of mind that I am, are not buying it. No matter how much you try to lie, cheat, and steal, you can not hide the truth about the kind of people and company you really are Crowdstar.