Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hollywood This Has To Stop

 Look, I get it. It costs less money to just remake a film that was pretty good or great and anything that saves a film studio money must be a good thing. Not all remakes are bad. Look at True Grit. That was well done not only because of the directors, but also because of the great cast. However, there is a surge of so many remakes going on right now it's ridiculous. It makes me wonder along with many other individuals if you are truly that hard pressed for original ideas.
 Case in point, Teen Wolf. Are you kidding? Before anyone brings up the reasoning that it's MTV and they ruin everything (yes, we already know they ruin everything, look at Jersey Shore) it shouldn't have been dubbed a remake at all. Not only was it dark, they completely got the story wrong. Remember how the movie went? He wasn't bitten, he inherited it from his father. It wasn't dark and scary. It was campy and fun. So in all fairness that horrid television show MTV put on the air can not be properly dubbed a remake. It's more like what happens when bad writers happen to good ideas, also why MTV needs to dig a hole for itself and die already.
 The other things though that are being remade, I'm appalled at. I already suffered through The Green Hornet, what makes you idiots think I'm going to suffer through other terrible remakes? Oh sure, the Fright Night remake has David Tennant, but even after watching the preview trailers, I'm not convinced that the former Doctor Who actor can save it from mediocrity. You want to remake Carrie? Why? It already got one terrible remake, why waste time and money on a second one? Total Recall doesn't need to be remade either. What could you guys possibly do that would make it better than the original? Robocop, Metropolis, and Romancing The Stone remakes, where does it END?
 Finally, we come to the talks about a remake that put me over the edge. It is the last and final straw for me. I read an article with the headline Spike Lee In Talks To Direct Remake Of Oldboy. That's it. I'm convinced Hollywood, that you have lost your damn minds. First of all, HOW DARE YOU. Have you learned nothing from the flops that happened when you did remakes of Asian horror films and Asian films? I'm looking at you Pulse and Shall We Dance. Oldboy is by and far one of my favorite Asian cinema films. It's a brilliant film. The fact that you would insult it in this fashion is despicable and then you pick Spike Lee as your director? That's not even the right choice for directors. Overall, the whole concept is dreadful. That is absolutely a movie that NEVER needs to be remade. You don't remake brilliant works of art! We don't need an English language version of this film and we sure as hell don't need Spike Lee directing it. Bottom line this is not what you do to great films to save money. Get your own damn ideas and quit wasting everyone's time.
 This madness has to stop. You also have to quit doing that 3D gimmick. We all know it's a crutch so you can make more money on your already overpriced tickets. Think I'm kidding? One title. Piranha 3-D.


  1. 1. new version of something: something that has been made again or differently, especially a new version of an old movie

    2. produce something again: to produce a remake of something

    Those are the definitions of remake. The New Teen Wolf that MTV is producing was suposed to have the same premise (teen boy turns into wereweolf) and that was about it. It is a remake or in somecase, what some people would call a reimagining of a previously made idea. Some fantastic new ones that surpased (at least in my opinion) the originals:

    1. The Thomas Crown Affair (all I really have to say is Brosnon. Yay.)

    2. True Lies (based off a really bad French film that was good, but not as good.)

    3. Little Shop of Horrors. (Totally better than the original Black and white... and it was a musical!)

    4. Father of the Bride (the original was made in 1950)

    5. A Fistful of Dollers (based off of the original Title of Yojimbo, made only three years before)

    6.The Magnificent Seven (Seven Samurai done Western Style, oh and the real reason this movie is so awesome is the following: Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Robert Vaughn and Horst Buchholz. Just absolutly magnificent...)

    7. The Birdcage (Don't make me explain this one...)

    8. 3:10 to Yuma (I will hav eto admit, both were pretty good, so maybe this was just me liking both versions of the movie).

    9. Oceans 11 (I think the new one was funnier and on top of that, the new cast really did have the same energy as the original and it made it stand out in it's own right).

    10. This one is a tie really - His Girl Friday (based off of The Front Page) and Ben-Hur (1959 was better than the '07 and '25 versions; only mvie wher eI felt it took them three times before they got it right).

    Needless to say, they might not have original ideas, but sometimes, it is nice that they do a remake. Sure there are some that are out there that they did not need to do (The Wickerman for example and then a few others... but I don't even want to theink about them...); but to say that all of htem are bad and unwanted, is a gross understatement.

  2. You're right, not all of them are bad. I have actually enjoyed the remakes that you listed many times over. I guess I wasn't as clear as I should have been with the slew of remakes. Basically, some original ideas thrown in there would be refreshing instead of just one remake right after another. And as with most movies in general, how successful a film or remake of one is depends on the cast and director, because not all of them are so good either. And The Wicker Man was one of those remakes you wish you could forget. :)