Saturday, August 14, 2010

A Disturbing Trend Among The Ladies

A while back a friend of mine showed me a video of a girl destroying her boyfriend's Xbox 360 console because he wasn't spending enough time with her in her opinion and she was as she put it, "teaching him a lesson" by beating it to death with a golf club. How charming. Now it seems this is a disturbing trend among the ladies who hate that their men are playing video games instead of spending time with them. My friend showed me this little gem. I'll warn you now, she drops some f- bombs:
Isn't that lovely? Not only did this girl handle the situation badly, but she shows she has the communication skills of a two year old in desperate need of a nap. She's not the only girl to do this in the current console murder spree. There are others and so many videos of frustrated girls everywhere venting it via baseball bats, feet stomping, throwing, and enraged profanity. Frankly, it's ridiculous.
 Here's the cold hard truth ladies. We're taught from day one that it is not nice to take things that don't belong to you and smash them to bits. We're taught that we should use our words to communicate how we feel rather than resort to things like beating parts and wires to death with golf clubs. For you girls who have felt the urge to do this to your guy, just take a look at these videos. Look at the ugliness that is involved with what is happening. Notice that it has the opposite effect of what they had hoped to do. It doesn't make the guy want to stop playing video games. It makes him want to throw the offending party out for good and you know, maybe that's what should happen.
 Everyone gets upset, or angry. It's part of being human, having a limit to one's patience. However, it's what we do when we reach the end of that limit that reflects who we really are and it's either enlightening or extremely damning in the evidence. In these cases, these girls show that they really need to rethink how they communicate. They also show that while they expect to be respected, they can't seem to give that to their boyfriends either. How is breaking their things showing them that you want to spend time with them or that you care about them?
 So for all you girls out there who do this kind of nonsense listen up and listen good. You can't change a man. I'll say it one more time. You can't change a man. You can only accept him as he is, warts and all and try to be understanding about times when he needs to be a man. If it means playing a video game to unwind, so be it. There's more to it than that of course. I've said this time and time again to so many girl friends. Men do not do subtle, and they do not do hints. You have to clearly state what it is you want and be blunt about it. You can't do foxy innuendo and leave hidden clues in your sentences. You have to throw the brick of reality in their face; something along the lines of, "Hey, let's go see a movie. I want to spend more time with you and I'm sick of you playing this game. Let's get out of the house for some fresh air."  See? Not hard.
 I know there are times when you feel that they're not listening to you and yes, that's frustrating. The thing is though, if they feel like you are nagging them, they're never going to listen. If all you do is nag, complain, and whine at them, guess what? They're going to tune you out. So you need to try and be calm when you talk to them. If you feel too angry to talk, take a walk until you calm down. Don't talk to them when you're so angry you think you're going to squeeze their head until it explodes. Bottom line, don't resort to a she hulk tantrum thus proving to all his friends that yes you probably are clinically insane. Just have a conversation, a normal conversation.
 The other side of this is if you feel that neglected or unhappy, dump him. Why stay with someone who so clearly makes you that miserable? Before you go into the whole explanation of how it's complicated and you love him, let me stop you right there. No, it's not. If you really loved him as you claim, you wouldn't resort to this kind of passive aggressive behavior. You would have the common decency to talk to him and really tell him how you feel even if it's to tell him at the moment you think he's an a-hole, and not go medieval on all his stuff, leaving a crater where everything used to be. That is not how you treat someone you love and ladies, you know it. So if you're not happy, get out and find someone that does make you happy.
 Fellas, you're not off the hook completely. There are some of you who don't get it even when you've been slammed into the brick wall of truth and continue on as if nothing is wrong. Wake up. Pull your head out of your ass and pay some attention to the girl who thinks you're worth something or she'll find a guy who will. Another factor is if you know your girlfriend or wife is not into video games, don't talk about them all the time around her and don't invite her over or hang out with her if all you're going to do is play Call Of Duty with your buddies and ignore her all night. If you made a commitment to spend time with her, do it. Nothing makes a woman angrier than a guy who flakes out on her all the time.
 To both parties, perhaps you should stick to people who have similar interests rather than one extreme to the other. Sure there are opposites that attract, but in the long run that rarely works. The main thing is you need to communicate with each other, lay it all out on the table, and be open and honest with each other. And ladies, before you reach for that baseball bat, take a walk.

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